Writing and Reading

I'm kind of miserly. I like getting a good deal. I have always been this way, considering where I could get a better deal if I just waited instead of impulsively buying something. I get annoyed when buying books especially, because I know I could just get a book at the library for "free." Whoever came up with the idea for public libraries...I wish I could kiss that person. Libraries are among my favorite places to be. Bring some coffee from home and it's the cheapest therapy an introvert can imagine or hope for. I just can't believe all this information and artistry is available at my fingertips. A friend said she doesn't like the library, doesn't get the appeal, and I just crinkled my forehead in disbelief. What?? Why?? How are we even friends?

My kids love the library. I don't like letting them play on the computer when we go, except as toddler-management, because they can do that anytime. The library should be for books. (Hypocritically, I surf Facebook on my phone when we go, it just needs to stop!) It always kind of grates against me when I see other families and the parent instituting a "only 3 books" rule. That just seems cruel. Three books?! Why limit to such a small number? We regularly load up with 30 or more. I hear the limit is 100 per card, and we have three cards in our family. Books are like friends. I wish I could have control over my friends like I do my library books. Picking up one as I choose and taking what they have to give, with them never minding whether I have anything to give back.

Although there is a certain level of anxiety when we are gathering our books to return to the library and one or many are missing. One time we were missing a CD for almost 3 months. I was very concerned. It turned out it was behind the DVD player. I know that it wasn't accidentally put there but strategically placed by some well-meaning toddler. It was a good thing too because I didn't want to pay the $12 to replace.

For all my miserly-ness, however, sometimes I feel like I'm taking something I don't deserve at the library and have warmed to the idea of buying books even for their retail price. When you think about how much work it is to write, and now that I'm identifying more and more with being a writer, $12.99 for a novel really isn't too much. The author probably isn't getting paid more than a few cents per word. And a person can write and write for years without being recognized, let alone rewarded. It almost make me ill thinking of all the people profiting off one person's years of agonizing work, pouring their heart onto pages and pages that will never be seen, sharpening their skill of writing.

It also seems cruel that garbage writing can be so rewarding while simultaneously brilliant writing can remain unknown. It's ridiculous that "Fifty Shades of Grey" is a blockbuster film while my brother's thoughtful screenplay still sits unread.

These are the thoughts of a writer-housewife at 5am.